my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
