I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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