i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
