I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
