who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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