We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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