it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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