I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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