i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
