Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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