I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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