I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
