just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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