you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
