i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
