he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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