I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
