Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
