he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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