what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
