I wanna bring you to show and tell
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
