Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
