I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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