were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
