i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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