It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
