and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
