I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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