Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
