The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize