I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
