Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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