Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
