I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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