I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
kristin has been a bad kristin
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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