Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
