So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
