this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Randomize