remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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