I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
