There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
