ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
