You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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