Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
