Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We are two peas in an std pod
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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