There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize