My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
