he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
