The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
