I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
