Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
