I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
