She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
