I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
