We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
