I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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