You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
