Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
