first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also, beer. Big fan.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
