remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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