I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
