You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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