i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
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