is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You ruined the universe
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
